The depth and breadth of aging

Patricia Raskin

The topic of seniors is very close to home for me as I am an early baby boomer. Up until recently, age was just a number, and my passion, persistence and purpose continued non-stop.

But of late, I have been reflecting about years and realize no matter how much energy and drive I have, the numbers are real, and the clock is ticking.

I do not say this in a despondent manner but in a way that makes me cognizant of the years I have left to do what I love and be with the people I love. It is sobering because every day that passes, I am aware of my time limits.

I am now reflecting more on the special moments in my life during all the milestone years. This includes attending my high school reunion and revisiting the home I grew up in which prompted me to write to the current owners and share my memories and ask for a tour. I also reflect on the places I have lived and the people who made those moments so special.

It's like doing an inventory and taking stock of what we have and what we have achieved … and what we have left to do.

This is why capturing those moments is so important as the photos, videos, letters and writings are our “keepers” – proof of where we were both physically and emotionally at those times in our lives.

Feelings can be very mixed when we go back and revisit these memories, especially when those people, places and experiences are no longer available to us. And it can be empowering to recall those special moments which we have been fortunate to have experienced.

And when those memories are difficult and painful, we can acknowledge them and then reframe them to see them in a positive and renewed way.

The in-depth article on jewishsacredaging.com titled “Spirituality and Aging – Commentary from Rabbi Lawrence Kotok” has Rabbi Kotok quoting several sources. He shares a story from Rabbi Alvin Fine, a story from Mitch Albom’s book “Have A Little Faith: A True Story” and he points out Judith Vorst’s book, over 20 years old, “Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow.”

Rabbi Kotok, summarizes so wisely “… what do you bring to life – what do you bring to a new living situation – how can each of us make that better or easier – how can we reinforce your sense of worth – identity and meaning – my answer is in building the sacred community – in building a community that is attuned to the special realities you as seniors begin to face – all of the many aspects of frailty and dependence –both physical and mental – and even if none of those occur the struggle with the perceived loss of independence that comes with both physical and emotional change -moving into a new apartment – or having to give up driving…all of these impact us at some point if we are lucky enough to keep living – none of us are exempt.”

He continues, “The ultimate difference is how each individual faces or denies these known realities – whether they do them alone or in a supportive community – and that is where the spirituality of the individual can make all the difference as all of us negotiate life’s twists and turns. We can help in this journey if we have established or can build new trusting relationships with them.”

PATRICIA RASKIN, owner of Raskin Resources Productions, is an award-winning radio producer, business owner and leader. She has served on the board of directors of Temple Emanu-El, in Providence. Her “Positive Living with Patricia Raskin” podcast can be heard on voiceamerica.com.